Flashbacks from last year (1st Grade PE)

So, last year I taught 1st and 2nd grade PE.  I love those kids, but it was a challenge at times.  I thought I was free from that this year until I volunteered to take the 1st grade PE class.  Seriously, I VOLUNTEERED?  What was I thinking?  They are a tuff class, and I'm the third PE teacher they have this year.  So, as you can imagine they have no routine, which apparently is foundational at this age.  I have forgotten kids at this age are learning how to follow instructions and work well with each other.  Let's just say we have a long way to go, lol.  On the 2nd day of PE class, I gave each student a ball and then went on to give instructions.  THAT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.  Don't ever give 1st graders something fun to play with and then except them to listen.  As I tried to give instructions students began to get up and run around.  I would gather half the class back and then turn around and the other half was running wildly.  Balls were hitting kids in the heads causing tears, ugh!  It got to the point that my voice was just another noise in the chaos, and my whistle was being completely ignored.  I don't know if I've ever felt so defeated.  I sat down in the middle of the gym and just watched the chaos swirl around me.  The kids were oblivious to the fact that they weren't following directions.  There was one little boy still sitting with me.  He asked, "Ms. B, are we going to do PE?"  Almost in tears, I responded, "No, I don't think so."  I have found 25 1st graders out of control to be scarier than 25 high schoolers out of control.  

The next PE day, I noticed some of the 1st graders with gum in their mouths.  I asked them to spit the gum out.  However, some of the students deceptively kept the gum in their mouths until I caught them again.  For a couple girls, it took me asking them 5 times.  By the fifth time, I was so frustrated.  It's just plain rebellion, which I find to be true in my heart at time.  How do you cure rebellion?  Discipline.  Sometimes times hard discipline can seem so mean.  I hate feeling like I'm being mean to kids, but I guess it might be some of the best form of love I can show them.  When God disciplines me, I don't think of Him as mean.  I pray for a heart like Jesus, so I can learn how to give a healthy balance of discipline and grace.  I want to love them well, and not pull my hair out!